Screw Ritalin
Posted by Chuck Vose Sat, 04 Apr 2009 00:18:00 GMT
It’s been about two weeks since I last wrote, I’ve been trying to spend most of my freetime with Erica on the phone but I just don’t get much freetime anymore. So I apologize but I’m also really far away so what are you going to do about it punk?
At rate, last night I had a dream. I’ve been calling it “Screw Ritalin” all morning and I would like to share it with you. Many years ago there was a woman in my life who constantly inspired me to do wild new things. She still inspires me on occasion just by looking back at how life was at the time, it was some of the best years of my life I think. I was utterly sexless (at least for a while), I was interesting, inspired, and I had a job that worked relatively well with my Adhd.
Last night in my dream I was at a new college. Every morning I would espouse my opinions, I forget what she called them but it was incorrect word choice I remember, something like ‘marketing’. And every morning she would fawn over me and respect me. However in the dream at some point during the year I started taking Ritalin and she disappeared. When I finally found her I asked why we didn’t speak and she told me that she missed my morning speeches, that when I started Ritalin I stopped making those wild speeches to her.
This is not the first time someone has told me this and unfortunately I believe the times match up perfectly to blame Ritalin completely. What worries me is that I wonder if I’ve changed also and Ritalin just facilitated the change. What if I’m actually boring off of Ritalin too and I’ve permanently made myself dull and uninspired?
In keeping with the title I’m stopping Ritalin today. I still need a stimulant of course, I’m American afterall, but I think that my stimulant of choice will be tea for a while. I’m eager to see how this works out.
Ummm… could you explain what you mean by, “So I apologize but I’m also really far away so what are you going to do about it punk?”
It could be interpreted many different ways.
Also, you are not dull nor boring – the very suggestion made all your friends at the garden house laugh.
let us know how the tea works out.
Oh lordy who knows. I think I had been awake for like 4 minutes when I wrote this. An interesting thing I suppose, it’s like writing drunk, you never know what will come out but it’s interesting to look at what you’re thinking about when otherwise lacking in mental ability.
I guess what I was thinking was not that I was dull so much as I feel that I have been lacking motivation in a lot of ways and thus I am lacking socially at times. I know that I’m not dull 100% of the time as I know that I cannot strive to be interesting 100% of the time. But I feel like the ratio has been decaying and I don’t like it.
On the other hand I’ve been trying out very low doses of Ritalin (so I don’t have to make coffee/tea constantly) and it’s been interesting too. I do feel more spontaneous but I don’t feel like my ability to pay attention has suffered very much.
So, I’m not the punk in that statement?
I’m glad low doses of Ritalin are working – or at least helping. : ) as to the rest, i will wait to comment on for thursday.
Oh certainly you are not the punk I was talking about. It was rhetorical? I’m not sure what exactly it would be called but it wasn’t directed at anyone at all.
I, too, have historically struggled between my tendency towards the sort of behavior that led you to theorize that I have ADHD, and the sort of behavior that led an ex- of mine to refer to me as “the most stable person she knew.” It’s a pain. I have had many contradictory epiphanies about the true nature of my personality. We can compare notes on the relative virtues of calm contemplation and obsessive interest some other time.
For now, I caution: human behavior is very complicated and cannot necessarily be plotted on a one-dimensional continuum. In other words, less frenetic doesn’t always mean more boring, and more boring doesn’t always mean less frenetic. I bet you already knew that, but it bears reinforcing.
Also: Google I.O.’s academia registration rate is $50. Do you think it’s worth the added expense of travel to & lodging in San Francisco?
I agree with Nathan, “less frenetic doesn’t always mean more boring, and more boring doesn’t always mean less frenetic.”
And if motivation is apart of the issue, i wonder about the cause ….?
$50 for a conference is excellent. Hop on couchsurfing.com and find a place to stay for free. There’s no reason not to go and you’ll probably meet some excellent people.
On the motivation front I believe that I’m getting a little depressed but the thing that concerns me is that it feels like it’s been induced by the Ritalin. Clearly the blogpost was during a low point but it could just be that I’m unhappy with the state of my finances and job prospects, things that have traditionally caused depression without me noticing it for quite some time.
The doctor gave me ritalin long time after suffering from back pain, I did not take importance to I found chronic fibromyalgia, and after evaluating and conduct a comprehensive this icon in order to feel pain, until no stamina, after many doctor visits and many tests review told me that the most appropriate to ease the pain were lortab, vicodin or oxycodone, but I asked my doctor to prescribe me the most effective and less addictive and prescribed ritalin, have already taken this medication 2 years and though it causes some kind of anxiety I control myself properly, I have no problems so addictive, I think if they know their anxiety is effective restraint, this is good because these narcotics findrxonline indicate that opioids can be very dangerous.
giving over doses is very harmful for the health….. be aware.
Appreciate the info, it’s good to know.
Good way of wring the blog….. It attracts the readers….
Keep up